Good Days & Bad Days

I know there will always be good days and bad days... Tuesday was well, a bad day. I was feeling the effects of a broken heart and just didn't know what to do. I had taken C & K to a Veteran's Day parade with some people in the ward. My first adventure with the kids knowing I wouldn't have J to talk to if things went completely wrong. The parade went alright despite C sitting there throwing rocks or running off to the point that I'd start to slightly panic. Afterwards a few of us went out to eat with the kids and I thought ok I don't normally do this because you have to tag team C and J was always with me if I took the kids to lunch just for that reason. C was crazy at lunch and K a perfect angel as usual. By 2pm I had enough and was ready to leave I told C it was time to go and the meltdown began. By the time I had both kids in the car I was in tears and just couldn't take anymore. Usually I'd call up J and tell him about my day and what had gone wrong. But, I couldn't, and I felt jipped, that all these other women could call their husbands and talk to them and tell them what their kids had been doing today. I had to sit back and take it. I couldn't even talk to C on the way home, I was so upset. I heard him talking softly to himself in the backseat and after a few min. I heard him say "Mom, I want to apologize, I know you miss dad, I will try and be a better boy. I'm sorry I made you sad." This is so not like C. I believe he was talking to J. That J told him that he needed to say sorry and be better. It was what I needed. Although my day went smoother I still missed J and couldn't get over that feeling. We ended the night with both kids and I snuggled up in J's quilt and K fast asleep. By the time I went to bed that night I finally felt a little bit better. I know J was there trying to comfort C in my time of need. Trying to help me out the only way he knew how or could help out. I know there are going to be many more bad days where I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. But, I'll get through them and tomorrow is always a new day. Thankfully Wednesday was a good day...