I've always thought highly of single moms.... I never wanted to be one. I always thought they had so much on their plate. Now I know what it feels like to have more on my plate than I care to eat. I knew the feeling slightly when J would travel and sometimes be gone for a week at a time. But I always knew he'd be coming back home. I'd be able to call him up everyday and we'd talk about whatever... sometimes nothing at all. I've come to realize that being a single mom is so much harder than anyone ever thinks. You get the kids up and ready for the day, You feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner, make sure they are bathed and put to bed at hopefully a decent hour... (I'm still working on this one). You pay all the bills, do the grocery shopping, take out the dishes and do the laundry. You make sure the trash is taken out and pushed to the curb. You make the meals and clear the table. You read the bedtime stories and tuck the kids in at night. You sit alone and watch tv. Wishing that for just one night your husband could be sitting there next to you... just to put his arm around you and say... " I know you've had a hard day but, you are doing a great job". Sometimes I think we take for granted all the things that our significant other does for us. The sacrifices that they make for us. The things they do big or small. Oh, how I wish to just be able to be slightly irritate cause J left a wrapper on the floor. Don't take for granted those in your life right now. Be grateful for where you are in your life.... A friend of mine said "I know you are frustrated, but give your kids a hug, things will turn around.." I know tomorrow is another day. And today will just be another notch in my belt. Another day without J, and I miss him so much but I become a stronger person everyday... I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father has a lot of faith in me. I never in a million years would have pegged myself as someone who could be strong enough to do this. But, I'll do it... cause someone, no at least 2 people up there have faith in me that I can do this and I'm betting that J's one of them...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Being A Single Mom
I've always thought highly of single moms.... I never wanted to be one. I always thought they had so much on their plate. Now I know what it feels like to have more on my plate than I care to eat. I knew the feeling slightly when J would travel and sometimes be gone for a week at a time. But I always knew he'd be coming back home. I'd be able to call him up everyday and we'd talk about whatever... sometimes nothing at all. I've come to realize that being a single mom is so much harder than anyone ever thinks. You get the kids up and ready for the day, You feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner, make sure they are bathed and put to bed at hopefully a decent hour... (I'm still working on this one). You pay all the bills, do the grocery shopping, take out the dishes and do the laundry. You make sure the trash is taken out and pushed to the curb. You make the meals and clear the table. You read the bedtime stories and tuck the kids in at night. You sit alone and watch tv. Wishing that for just one night your husband could be sitting there next to you... just to put his arm around you and say... " I know you've had a hard day but, you are doing a great job". Sometimes I think we take for granted all the things that our significant other does for us. The sacrifices that they make for us. The things they do big or small. Oh, how I wish to just be able to be slightly irritate cause J left a wrapper on the floor. Don't take for granted those in your life right now. Be grateful for where you are in your life.... A friend of mine said "I know you are frustrated, but give your kids a hug, things will turn around.." I know tomorrow is another day. And today will just be another notch in my belt. Another day without J, and I miss him so much but I become a stronger person everyday... I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father has a lot of faith in me. I never in a million years would have pegged myself as someone who could be strong enough to do this. But, I'll do it... cause someone, no at least 2 people up there have faith in me that I can do this and I'm betting that J's one of them...
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13 comments:
Em,
I will never forget when the girls dad told me a story when he went to pick the girls up from dance after Paula died. Another father was making a comment how happy he was his wife would be home that night after being gone for a business trip. How hard of a week he had without her there. Stac told me how bad he wanted to tell him... at least she is coming home!
You are so right, never take anything or anyone for granted. Tell them you love them!!!
You are an amazing woman and you have so many family members and friends who love and support you.
It is amazing how strong God "thinks" we are then we realize we really are that strong.
Dear E,
When I read your entry and experiences in single parenting and not taking anything for granted it's like looking in a mirror. You're right...God does have faith in you or you wouldn't be in this situation and you are making it. And although you have always respected single parents...you will start noticing them more and more and have a much deeper connection with them simply because you're living the same life, understanding the pressure. The fact that you're being so honest and real will go a long way to bringing healing and strength to your life. You are loved...it's just from a different perspective now:).
Ruth
Being a single Mom is hard, just take one day at a time. And take advantage of all your family and friends that so want to help. You are strong and pretty much one of the most amazing girl I know!
We have faith in you. You are so amazingly strong. We grieve every day for you and C and K and the hard road you have to travel down. We love you.
Kori and family
you are the best mom in the world em! you have come such a long way, it's amazing!
Oh Em another tear jerkier they always are! You are so strong and you have so many here who know you are stong and can do this! Thank you for the advise! I don't want to take any one for granted! You are the biggeset inspiration to me! I love you and am on your side! Jeff loves you too and like you know is cheering for you!
I'm glad you're realizing this Emily. I haven't gone through the same trial as you but we've had some extremem trial in our life that most people don't have. I've realized that through those trials you learn a lot of things about yourself that you never knew before. Some of them are great things and some of them not. But you learn who you really are and how you can manage your life and be happy. And it does make you stronger.
Take care.
Wow Em, you have such a way of writing, you are so good and are such an inspiration to all of us, not only can you do this but knowing you, you will do well...that is just you, you are a great Mother and your children will gain so much from your strenth. The Lord does know you can do this and He is always there to comfort and guide and strengthen you. Hang in there...we love you Em.
E, I forget all the tasks that a mother with young children has. I remember that at 8:00 I turned into a witch. I was so ready for the kids to be in bed and to have some time to unwind. I know you can do hard things.......We are all praying for you!
YOU ARE AMAZING!!! Amazing that you can give strength to others who have it easier than you. Amazing that you can stand up straight when the world is crashing around you. Amazing that you can be an Awesome Mom when it seems too hard. You are AMAZING Em. If you need a break from your AMAZINGNESS just call! Jennifer
I've seen personally what a single mom does and how things get. My younger sister was one for over a year and it was hard for her. She was working full time, school part time, a mom and a dad dull time, she would get so frustrated. But there was always something that she would say to help herself through her day..."God never said this would be easy, just worth it, so I can make it through today". That always helped her and I hope it helps you too.
God Bless you Emily,
hang in there. I too was a single mom as it felt like a death, as my ex husband cheated on me and left me with two children, one mentally ill. I never imagined being a single mom of 2, 14 years ago. But,. But, 6 months later, I was doing fine. I have a new husband for 9 years but, the grace of God, he put us together and he has strong faith. We have a son together also.
But, in your situation is completely different. It hurts, more then I can ever imagine but, can try and imagine.
So sorry but, you are doing great!
I love coming to your site and reading your blog.
take care
E we all love you so much, you are doing a wonderful job! I know J is proud of you and Heavenly Father loves you. You have shown the power and strength that comes from a Mother's love for her family. I think J is sad that he can't be here with you and the kids. Please don't ever feel like you have to do it all. It's ok if you wake up some morning and say I need a break today- we are here for you, and can take over for a a few hours a day, whatever you need. You deserve and need time off once in a while. Is C ready for a fun hike on Sat.? The weather is so nice I know he likes being outdoors. Oh, the lemon tree we are planting in honor of Jeff was delivered this morning. We would love to have pictures of you, K & C helping to plant it (they put the tree in the hole so it would involve shoveling the soil back in) we'll plan it... Love You
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