Not a Day Goes By...

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my life, J & where I was just a year ago. The thoughts the feelings. The hurt, the loss. Its still there, not as strong as last year but I still feel it. That feeling of loosing someone that had been there for so long & at times you know is still there you just can't see them anymore but sometimes their spirit is so overwhelmingly strong right there beside you when you need them most. This past year has been anything but easy. Its come with new trials, me learning my role as a mom & main parent. Trying to find that happiness I once had & trying to fight off the hurt from others judging me & my choices, losing good friends because of those choices & them not agreeing with them. I often think about how I've made it thus far. I know I couldn't have made it with out the help of my Father in Heaven who's guided me to where I needed to be, who's helped prompt me in what I needed to do despite how hard it maybe or what opposition I may face. Sometimes I want to run far away. Where no one knows my story, no one knows what I've experienced & I'm just another girl they've met on the street. But because of my experiences I've been able to feel that compassion for others put in my situation, tried to lift them up & encourage them to keep going. That in a year they will be able to look back just like I have been able to and see how much they've grown & learned from all of this. I don't know if it makes a difference but maybe its more for me than for them. To help me continue to heal & keep me close to my Heavenly Father & J.