Wednesday, July 15, 2009
What If?
What if people weren't so judgemental? What if people didn't scrutinize other people's lives... watch their every move? What if they let them live their lives and not think to themselves (and some outloud) how they'd live their life differently if put in that situation? What if you could live your life without the worry of doing something the wrong way? What if you could live a happy life without everyone feeling as though you've wronged them... wronged J? What if people could just appreciate you for you... who you are as a person? Accept you for your strengths and your weaknesses and not judge you on any decision you make? What if J and I had made different decisons about his treatment of his cancer? What if we hadn't gone through with the stem cell? What if J hadn't died? I could sit here all day and say what if? But the truth of the matter is I can't answer any of these questions. The what if's of life. I had a dream about a week or so ago about me sitting down with a man and his wife and telling my story of J from start to finish. When I woke up from the dream I had all these what if's? in my head. I think all too often when something happens to us we sit back and think what if? What if things had happened different? What if I had done this different? Would the outcome be different completely or just slightly? Would it make a difference? I believe we all have a destiny... a chosen purpose on this life and even though we are free to make our own choices that there are just somethings that God over rides. He knows us better than anyone else. He knows what is best for us... where our lives need to head. There have been so many what if's since J died but I know Heavenly Father has pushed, prodded, shown me the way where I needed to be despite all the what if's that run through my head. I think most people sit back when something happens and think Why? I've never questioned why I've been given these trials. Just the what if's seem to run through my mind. I guess what it comes down to is I need to move past the what if's and wondering and just live my life in the here and now. I can't focus on the what if's in life... even the what if's of today of the little decisions I make. Or even the choices my own kids make. Life is life. It happens. Life can't be rewound so why spend the time on the what if's? Come what may and embrace it... continue to move forward...and most importantly enjoy the ride...
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5 comments:
I believe that everyone has a destiny here on this earth that we to fulfill. But I also believe as you do, that Heaven Father knows us better and does over ride some of the things in our lives. Keep doing what you are doing. If there is something that you're not meant to fulfill, the Lord will step in. You are doing a great job!!!!!!
Em,
I started reading this blog about a year ago and can't fathom what you have gone through. God leads us in the path that is best for us, even though we don't like it. What will be will be. J would only want for you to be happy. If you have found love, be happy. No one can walk in your shoes, so no one can say what is right or wrong. If they choose to judge, then they are not looking out for your happiness but living in their sorrow. You have had enough sorrow and I hope that you can be happy forever more.
My prayers are with you and your family.
It's interesting that you write this, because just today I was watching a show and in the end it turned out good and happy and I thought to myself, why can't I have a happy ending like that? But truth is that we can all have a happy ending, it just may not be the way that we thought it would be or what others may want it to be. Heavenly Father has given us our obstacles to overcome and the way that we deal with them is up to us. I've learned to just keep going and make the best of the situation and not worry about the what if's because those are things that I just can't change.
I was just reading Alli's blog & saw this quote on there & thought it is so true--I think it says it all: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss
I'm proud of you for the choices that you have made & are making. You have done an amazing job with all that you have had to deal with! You will always have "what ifs" to deal with I'm sad to say cuz it's in your genetic make-up--Sorry. But Keep looking forward--the future is bright!Love you!
well said!
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