God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face.
Sundays are always harder on me. We have church at 1:30pm which means waiting out half the day trying to keep the kids entertained and me not frazzled by the time we do make it to church. Which pretty much ends up being that I am so done with keeping them in line and trying to make it out the door on time let alone keep them sitting still for an hour. Its hard to watch the families sitting together with the mom and dad and the kids and if one of the kids acts up the dad usually gets up and takes care of the situation. I often am envious of that. I have several people ask me how I'm doing every Sunday and I give the typical answer of I'm good but I obviously wear my emotions on my sleeve and people can instantly tell that today was not one of my good days. Try as I might things can be rough. Our lesson today in RS was on The Ministry of Angels by Jeffrey R. Holland. The teacher asked about angels in our lives today and I started to get teary eyed as I thought about my kids and how they have a special angel in their lives. How I know that J is watching over us. How I've felt his presence at times usually when I'm down. Then I also started to think about the real life angels in my life. Those of you who have taken my kids for me so I could get a break and hopefully not go insane (although some days I wonder if its too late) Those who have listened to me stress out to the max and yet have been able to get me to relax and laugh. Those of you who pray for me and my kids on a daily basis. Those who leave comments of encouragement, understanding and strength. These are my angels. I appreciate everything that everyone has done for me, for my kids. I appreciate the comments that are left for me to read that help build me back up from the hard times. I hope someday I can be some one's angel... some one's saving grace. And when I'm having a hard time with the kids and I'm missing J, like I am tonight. I find peace in the knowledge that he is always with us. That there are angels among us that we can see and those that we can't see. That they will lift us up when we can't bear anymore. And although I struggle with letting people help me out, I know that God has sent these people to lift me up when I can't do it alone anymore. So thank you to all of you... you know who you are. And even if it was something small to you that you may have done for me, know that it wasn't small in my eyes. And will be forever grateful for you and what you have done for me. Even if it is something as simple as a little prayer that I can make it through the day without being stressed with my kids. That's a huge thing to me even if I don't know about it, so thank you to all my angels out there from the bottom of my heart.
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Oh, Sundays can be long and hard. I remember when Bruce was bishoping and gone. My kids would fight and get restless. I would be frazelled by the end of the day. I hope you visit both Grandma's houses a lot.
I'm so glad you share with all of us your thoughts and struggles. Someday.... Sunday's will be a day of rest....just not yet. It is true about angels...they are among us. I have had so many angels in my life...
You don't know me, but I found your blog through a comment you left on Susan Turley's blog. She passed away from cancer in December. I read your whole blog one night and couldn't help but be brought to tears. Your story sounded familiar and I later found out that my parents are in Jeff's parents' ward in Mesa.
My heart has been aching for you lately and I have been praying for you and your children. I have three small children myself and couldn't imagine trying to raise them by myself. I appreciate so much your comments of inspiration and hope and especially the one today about "Angels Among Us". Your strength and faith has helped me so much in my own life. There are days when I complain about life and being a mother, and then I think of you and the struggles you are facing on a daily basis, often by yourself, and suddenly my problems seem to disappear. Your comment about angels both seen and unseen really hit me. My patriarchal blessing has that exact same phrase in it, but until now I never understood that the angels we can see are those who help us each day: friends, family, ward members, kind neighbors, etc. So thank you for that insight and for helping me recognize the angels in my own life. I am glad you have angels around you and I hope that Heavenly Father will continue to answer your prayers through them.
Dear E,
As time passes by...I think you will be amazed at how God can and will use you to help others who experience similar kinds of loss. Truth be told...unless someone's been there themselves they can't really understand what you're going through...the experiences you've had and are having are not wasted. Keep taking all the help you can from those around you...they're just as blessed to help you out as you are by them helping you out.
Ruth
Hey E,
You are such an angel to me in so mnay ways. When I am having a really hard day with my kids, my thoughts always turn to you. You maybe going through a tough trial in this point of your life, but you inspire others to be better by how well you are doing with this trial of your own. I think about you and the kids on a daily basest and I just wanted you to know, that you're doing so well. Please ask Jason and I to take the kids sometime. If you need a Saturday afternoon to yourself, let us know. We can take them for you.
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